I'll Break You
by eagle11
Summary: Willow dreams about Tara being in hell and wants to ressurect her. But things doesn't always go as planned... Willow centric fiction and eventually Fuffy.
1. Chapter 1

Willow's POV

Today it is 2 months exactly to date since Sunnydale changed into a hole. We are now in Cleveland; we have this school here. I'm a teacher-not exactly what I expected since I met Buffy. Not that I thought about my future … when you can die any day, you don't fall into a fantasy world. Well you do fall, but I didn't, did I?

I frown at my inner babbling.

I look at the food I am playing with. It's scrambled eggs with bacon. I absently made a smiley face on the plate. Today is a good day-Kennedy and Faith came back yesterday from a trip. They were looking for a new slayer. They make a good team. If the girl has a dark past, Faith can sympathize with the 'been there, done that' or 'did worse' attitude and Ken can relate to those who are rich or arrogant. Not that she is arrogant. She isn't. Mostly …

Well it's not always a bad thing …

"Those scrambled eggs made you all red, Red?" Faith comes into the kitchen.

I smile at her joke. Sure she caught me blushing, but …

"Hi to you too, Faith."

"Someone is all bright and shiny in the morning. Watch it or I'll have to call you dreamy."

"You gotta have faith, Faith," I say mocking her joke.

She smirks at me and goes to the fridge, taking some leftovers from breakfast.

It's nearly 10:30-that's the reason why no one is here. Everyone is at their lesson. Faith teaches fighting techniques along with Buffy and Kennedy, but soon we will test some of the girls that helped us in Sunnydale, Because when Ken and Faith leave to look for new slayers, Buffy can't teach all the lessons by herself.

Buffy … we all kinda expected she would take a break or go to Europe after Sunnydale, but Xander was so broken about Anya that Buffy thought she would stay as a support.

I frown again. Xander-that's the only dark spot in our lives now. Well, along with vampires who want to kill you every day.

"What are you thinking about?" Faith says, snapping me out of thought.

"Xander," I answer sadly.

"Just give him some time. He lost the love of his life."

"I know ... been there, done that." I turn to the side so Faith can't see the tears building up in my eyes. Unbelievable-I still can't think about her without tears.

"I am sorry." This is one of those things that old Faith would never do-she would laugh about it, tease you about it, but no, no apologies. And especially no apologies for things she hadn't done. Faith really came a long way since prison. After I killed …. after I killed Warren, I could bond a lot easier with her. And then when I saw her with Angel, how she saved him, risking her own life in the process, I knew she had changed. I forgave her right then and there and Sunnydale only confirmed I was right. We are friends now or at least I'd like to think we are.She is part of the family now. Dawn admires her as always and as Faith would put it, Ken is her "best buddy."

"Willow."

"Yeah?"

"You spaced out-what about?"

"You." I blush when I realize how it sounds.

"Really?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Not like that! You know being a lesbian really limits my language; I can't say anything without the wrong impression…" I trail off, "but you as a bi should be even more limited, everything you say has the wrong impression!"

"Whoa Will, stop the train—"

"Stop the train of thoughts? Since when you are using that sentence?"

"I spend too much time around the Scoobies." She shrugs and starts her second plate.

"We wouldn't want it any other way," I say, partly to remind her we want her here and partly because it's true. Sometimes she still feels disconnected from us, even though she isn't …

"Even though if you keep eating like this, we may have to reconsider it." I smirk at her once again empty plate.

"Slick and B eat just as much as I do!" she says in defense, just as Ken comes in the room.

I can't help but check her out. Her body is … she is beautiful.

I subconsciously smile but I realize that I don't shine. I am glad to see her but I am not jumping in joy. She is not my second sun.

I have been sitting here for the last ten minutes and my mood already changed from happy to sad and from excited to nostalgic.

I know Ken is trying. She even learned stuff about magic, which she so dislikes, but she is no Tara. Tara was gentle and soft, but still firm. Ken, on the other hand, fights and then gives up. If I went through my addiction again, through the stuff with Rack again, I don't think Ken would be able to stop me.

"Are you okay, Will?" Ken asks me concerned.

"Yeah," I say with a fake smile. "We could go to Silver tonight." Silver is a club here in Cleveland.

"Sounds good, Red."

"I'll tell everyone and we will go there at nine?"

"Ok." Ken nods.

I move to find Xander and try to convince him.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Thanks for the reviews, I already had this chapter done and betaread,so I could post it this fast. I am glad I make you laugh. Enjoy :)

Buffy and I were able to convince Xander to come to Silver with us, but the tension is all over the place. Xander sits next to me and he is even more restless than I am. He really didn't want to come; He just wanted to stay home. We sit side by side holding our drinks like our lives depend on it, staring at Buffy, Faith, Dawn and Kennedy laughing and dancing.

I should be fine, I should only be a worried friend, but every time I look at him I see his pain for Anya and that reminds me of Tara...

"It's been two months," he says so quietly I can barely hear it. He finally breaks the silence, but his voice sounds fuzzy. His shoulders are dropped and he looks like he will fall any minute. His look is distant, cause he sees Anya there. For now, he knows he is just daydreaming but I remember that I used to see Tara in every girl. Someone would say something or some blonde would turn around and I would swear it was her, but then I remembered it wasn't possible.

I take his hand in mine. I should tell him it will be okay, but we both know it won't. I should tell him time will heal it, but it still hurts the same. I should tell him he will move on, but why would he if the only thing you do with a new girl is compare her to the old one?

So I only press his hand.

I can feel tears falling from my eyes.

"Will, you should be comforting me, not crying." He tries to chuckle but fails miserably.

"I am sorry," I say and wipe away the tears with my free hand.

"I am sorry; I am a bad friend, a very bad, bad friend." Why is babbling on purpose harder? "I should be punished, yeah…" I let out a breath of relief when he smiles. The queen of the babblefest forgot how to babble, but he didn't notice.

"Come on, Will. Let's … have you been crying?" Kennedy comes from the dance floor.

"No, it's just those disco lights. They always make my eyes teary. I will sue the guy who made it up. Umm, is he still alive?" Remind me to never complain about babbling again, it's amazing.

"Uhh, okay." She doesn't sound too convinced but then she just shrugs and takes a sip from my drink.

I turn to Xander, "Ken is right. Let's dance."

"No, Will. I …" He shakes his head rapidly. I think if he tried a little bit more, his head would fly off his neck. Did I just think that? Headless Xander … hmm … eyeless Xander is a lot cooler.

"Come on, it will be fun." I put on my resolve face.

"This is my resolve face." I point it out, just in case.

He hesitantly agrees and in a few minutes we are on the dance floor. I dance mostly with him, so Ken moves back to Dawn with a sigh. I know this wasn't what she imagined when I said we would go to the club, but she understands.

The music turns to a slow song and I hold him close so he doesn't even think about leaving. He struggles but then he leans in and sighs.

"Do we have to?"

"Stop whining. You are dancing with a friend. I am not playing a matchmaker." I say into his ear.

He nods and relaxes a little bit.

People are staring at us. Well, not us, more like Buffy and Faith behind us. I turn around with Xander so I can see them better. They are dancing pressed against each other; they almost look like one person…

I feel some tickling on my neck.

"Buffy, Buffy." I let go of Xander and move towards them.

"What's up?" Faith asks me and puts some space between them.

"Can you feel a vampire?" I ask.

"No. Everything is clear."

Then what is this? Maybe it's a witch…

I follow the feeling towards the bar. I can see a redhead sitting on a chair.

"Willow?" I turn to Kennedy.

"What?" I ask harshly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," I answer impatiently. I look back to the bar. The chair is empty and the feeling is gone. Damn."Let's go home."

"But we just started," Kennedy complains with a dumbfound look on her face.

"I just feel tired. I am sorry," I say softly.

I wonder who was that witch and why she left. She must have felt me too. Maybe she was afraid.

"I'll go too," Xander says as he approaches us. I knew he would take the first chance to run back home.

"I am sorry," I repeat to Ken again and kiss her.

Xander and I left the bar in silence.

"Could we go to the grave?" he asks me, but refuses to look me in the eye. The grave is a place where we made graves for Spike, Tara, Anya and Joyce. Now we have a place to go to when we want to feel them. It's not like a real grave, but it's something.

I nod.

The place is so beautiful and yet so sad. There are four trees on the sides forming a square. Next to each tree is a grave. The graves are situated in the order in which they died. The grave closest to me is Joyce's. The ivy grows on it, creating an interesting pattern, yet we can still see the words engraved. They state, "beloved mother."

Xander kneels in front of Anya's grave, his fingers tracing her name. He kneels in the moonlight so it gives him a beautiful aura. He looks like a fallen angel. He has tears falling from his eyes as he whispers to Anya. He rests his forehead on the top of the grave and spreads his arms to hug it. It looks uncomfortable as hell, but I know it makes him feels closer to her. It's ironic that the cold stone reminds you of a person.

I stare at him, trying so hard not to think about the other grave. Cause if I looked, I would break down. He needs me to be strong so my eyes never leave his body.

"I am sorry, I should have been there …" he mutters quietly.

"It's not your fault," I say breaking the atmosphere.

He looks up at me, but stays silent.

I kneel beside him and hug him. I start rocking him back and forth like a baby. He let's go. All of his walls fall down.

He cries. I cry. Our tears mix together.

I don't know how long we cried there for, but eventually we went back home. No one else came back, so we just went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing I notice is the sun. It's unnaturally red and it shines so much I can feel myself sweating. I am in a desert but when I look around and see thousands of people working, screaming, lying on the ground, it doesn't feel like it. Desert is a symbol of loneliness but this place is crowded

Damn. I just fell over something. I look back.

Oh my god! I think I am gonna be sick. I fell over a child no more than eight years old. She … she lies on the ground and … she is covered in blood, it's ….

I am on my knees throwing up. How can someone do that to a child? But when I look around I see that no one else looks better. I see that the kid is actually pretty good compared to the others. What is this place?

"Help!" A dark haired woman screams at me. She is on her knees. Her hands point towards me like she's begging for money, but they are also covered in blood. Her dress is torn apart and I can see scars on her bare back. She has more bruises than I have ever seen on a person. Her back is just blue and red, with no part on her body that actually looks like normal skin. Finally I look her in the eyes, her soul her look, is so broken. She is defeated, lost...

Half of the people here look like her, the other half are their torturers. This woman's torturer is a man in a good shape. He is five feet tall and has short black hair. His face is a mask of cruelty. He holds a knife in his hand and cuts her with it. He doesn't pay any attention to me, solely focused on her. Again, I notice that everywhere there is a victim and a torturer or only a victim.

I try to attack him but my magic is useless. I run against him and hit him. He disappears.

Good.

"Come on, we have to go …" I grab the woman.

"No, he will be back …" And just when she says it, he reappears, laughing at us both.

Why can he use magic and I can't? Why do the torturers ignore me? I am glad they do, but still.

"Willow," I hear a quiet whisper. I frantically turn around, causing me to throw up again. Why am I always trying to be everywhere fast?

I shakily stand up.

"Willow," I hear it again.

I follow the voice, carefully looking at the ground to make sure I don't fall again. But at the same time, I try not to look at all because if there is any place called hell, this is it. As I try not to look, I realize that the victims never help each other. I think I was wrong-the desert exactly fits this place-there is one thing worse than loneliness and that's loneliness in a crowd.

This place is like designed to break you in every single way, not just body but soul. Then I recognize how my presence affects them. I am here, but I don't help them. I am just another thing that breaks them into pieces. Ignorance, loneliness, pain, anger, desperation…

"Willow." It's a woman. I can only see her back from where I am standing; she has a blonde hair above her shoulders …

My body turns completely still…

"Anya," I breathe out.

"Willow, so you finally joined us. I knew you would end up here. You are evil; you tried to destroy the world."

"Here? You mean in hell?" I ask, but my voice is still so dull.

"Where else? You didn't think you would go to heaven did you?"

"I…I am not dead, am I?" I don't wanna stay here. Please, I can't. I am redeemed, I am trying. Oh goddess, don't let me end up here.

"No, probably not. You don't feel like others. You have more life in you."

"Are you okay?" She is not as hurt as some others, but she is still beaten up.

"I am in hell. What do you think?" She looks at me like I am crazy. Well maybe I am … what am I doing in hell when I am not dead? Maybe it is just a dream.

"Oh no, he is here again."

"What? Who?"

She motions behind me. I turn around and there is Xander. But there is something off about him—it's his face. His teeth are clenched together, his nostrils are dilated and his eyes … I never thought looking at my best friend could chill me to the bone.

I take a step back. He follows with one of his hands clenched in a fist and the other holding a knife.

"Anya what…what is he doing here?" my voice cracks.

"This is hell and hurting is most effective when it comes from the person you love. I am an ex-vengeance demon, I should know."

Oh goddess. I take another step back. This can't be true. I am not here, I am not here. This is just a dream, just a DREAM.

He stands so close to me I can feel his breath on my face …

Please wake up, please wake up, please …

He smiles and I shake.

"You are not the one I want," he says. He raises the hand holding the knife and backhands me. Then all I see is darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Jeremy Shane: ** I am glad you like it :) new chapter is up

I am on my bed in my room.

"Will, are you okay?" Ken asks me for the third time. She is all dressed up lying on the bed next to me, reading a book.

"I," It was just a dream. Anya is not in hell, "Yes," my voice is still shaky.

"I am and stop asking."

"Sorry." She looks away.

I am such a bitch.

I won't let this dream destroy my day, I'll have the best day ever…Yeah, I will.

"Come on let's eat some breakfast." I grab her hand and take her out of bed with a smile.

"It's two in the afternoon Will." I slept for so long?

"So? Don't tell me you are not hungry."

She chuckles. "I am slayer, we are always hungry."

"Good." I laugh with her.

We move downstairs and take some food. Luckily, Andrew always cooks too much, so there are some leftovers from lunch and it's only an hour after lunchtime. Even though Andrew always triples the amount, there is nothing left by dinner. That's just slayers, always hungry and… always hungry.

Good, seems like it won't be that hard, to put the dream behind.

I lean in and bit off the tomato from Ken's fork. She sends me 'What the hell' look, but then she smiles when I swallow it and kiss her.

"Come on, I wanna do something."

"Like what?"She asks me gently.

"Let's go to the cinema. You can choose the movie." I grin widely. Okay maybe I am forcing feeling happy a little bit. But one monk once said that if you laugh out loud eventually you will really think it's funny. So smile!

"Will, are you sure you are okay?"Damn it. I am trying for your sake, stop making it harder. I grin even wider. Okay am I rhyming in my mind? Maybe I am still dreaming, but then I dreamed about dreaming is that even possible?

"Yes and stop asking that, you are like a broken record." I answer.

"Let's go."I continue and grab my jacket. She follows.

We walk quietly and I try to enjoy the nature around me. I hear a bird singing to me, it's beautiful. I wonder how it is for Ken, since thanks to her slayer abilities it's even louder. I smile and stretch my arm. I use magic to lure one of the birds to me.

It flies on my hand and keeps singing. It is a yellow bird, probably American goldflinch. Though its head and wings are black and there are three white dots on each wing. Its beak is orange.

He, well I think it's a he. He is walking back and forth on my palm. I close my eyes and listen to his song, and it pushes every other thought from my head.

My senses are better, it's like the trees comes closer and the sky is brighter. The sun is shining, it's all covered in the music. He climbed my arm and now he is on my shoulder singing to my left ear.

"Will." Ken breaths out. She stands in front of the sun, so it's like she has a halo. She is beautiful; her hair shining in the sun, her face is perfect with the smile and her eyes. I love her eyes. Her brown eyes. I could stare in them for hours. It's perfect, except for that tiny thought whispering to me about blue eyes and blonde hair.

"Sh..." I whisper so we don't disturb the bird, "give me your hand."

She does as I say and I use magic to make her attractive to the bird. I am not using any controlling magic I just mimic the goldflinch, so he thinks, he doesn't think but if he were he would think we are just bigger version of the bird. He flies onto her hand and a beam of happiness spreads over her face.

"Hi." She says to him. It's nice to see how gentle and sweet she can be. It reminds me of… It is really nice.

I watched her play with him for a while and then we stare at him as he slowly flies on a close by tree.  
"You did it with magic?"Ken asks, the joy slowly disappearing from her voice.

"Yep, but it was just little bit, nothing that could turn me."I continue when I see her face.

"Good."

"Ken, you don't have to worry. Magic is not bad," I sigh at her 'are you crazy?' look, "I just abused it, that's why it turns me. Magic is amazing, powerful, and joyful. You don't have to fear it."

"You talk about it as if it's your lover." Why doesn't she get it?

"It's like slaying."

"No it isn't." she shakes her head. "Slaying isn't killing me, demons yes but not slaying."

"Damn it. I was addicted. Just because I have a bad experience with it, doesn't mean you can judge it. You don't even use it, so stop acting like it's a burden you have to carry!" I yell at her.

Her muscles tighten and she looks like if someone slapped her.

"Your eyes." she whispers.

"What?"I snap at her and she shivers. For some reason I feel satisfied because of it.

I smile and her breath quickness.

"They are black." She breaths out.

I grin wider. The way she is scared, terrified, it runs waves of pleasure all over my body.

I reach out to her, but she steps back.

"Will, stop." her voice begging and then it hits me. I lose all of my strength and fall on my knees.

My eyes are black, I turned.

"I am sorry, God, I am so sorry."

"It's okay," she says. And I am guessing my eyes are back to normal cause she kneels and hugs me.

I don't understand why I turned, the magic it was nothing it couldn't turn me. Sure I have more power now, ever since the spell that made potential slayers, slayers I had more power than ever. Even more than when I was evil.

I am able to feel slayers, vampires and witches now . The spell made me more connected to the supernatural. I can feel tingling or vibrations when someone gifted or cursed is around me. At first I couldn't stand that because every time I felt it, but now I learned how to suppress it. But still, it shouldn't turn me.

What's happening to me? First the dream and now this? Why? What did I do? I just want it to stop. Stop. I grab my head and shake it.

Will I pay for my mistakes for the rest of my life?

In opposite to my expectations, we actually went to the movie. But I don't remember what it was about, we were so tense…. The rest of day went in a similar fashion.

So here I am in my bed, waiting whether she will join me or will decide she wants to sleep on the couch…


	5. Chapter 5

Here I am again. In hell. The bodies, yeah bodies not people not souls just an empty boxes. They are broken, shaking, crying. It's no different from the last time, yet it shivers me. It's ten times worse but same, it's like nothing has changed it's like I never left this place at all. Is this a dream?

Then why can I feel pain? Why when I pinch myself it hurts? I grab a knife that shows up suddenly. I cut my finger, just to find out...

Ouch.

If this hurts? Is..is Kennedy, Buffy, Xander... Are they all just a dream? Do I live here and my mind is creating a safe place. In the Sunnydale University we learned about that. If your body suffers through a too traumatic situation then you create world, safe world. World in which you are happy. But was I even at the university or was it a dream too. What is real? What is fake?

Tara.

Is Tara just a creation of my mind? No, no she was real, she had to be. And Buffy? I couldn't come up with all that right? Right?

"RIGHT?" I scream at the people around me. They don't even look at me. Screaming, frustration that's normal here. How do I know it's normal? I shouldn't know what a norm here is. I don't live here. Well, assuming I am still alive. Assuming this is a place not hell.

"Willow" I hear voice again. But not Anya's. It's man's voice. It's low voice, painful. Like only talking causes him so much trouble.

"Willow" I recognize that voice, it's Spike.

I turn around and see him. His left eye is a huge bruise. I doubt he can see through it. He is half naked, his back covered with scars from a belt. Or a knife. His neck, there are marks on it . Vampire marks. He has been bitten more than once. I look at his wrists and I notice they are marked too. Someone was biting him, many times.

"Spike, is this hell?"

"Yeah, witch."

"Why am I here?"

"I am not your house dog, I don't care."I nod. He is right he is in hell for how long and I only care about myself.

"Can I help you?"

He shakes his head and laughs" You want to help me? Me? I am the killer I deserve this."

And then he just laughs hysterically. He starts coughing because it hurts him.

"Who, who did this to you?"

"I did."Familiar voice sends me shivers.

"Buffy?"

But like with Xander it's not her. Her face is vampires', her cruel smile, showing her teeth.

"You came to take a look? How nice of you Will. But it will take a while before we get to the good part." she says and kneels to him.

"You wonder why I could never love you."´she whispers in his ear.

"You are killer, vampire, you made me like this." she motions to her vampire face.

"No, no I didn't."He holds his head.

Buffy smiles at him gently, like he is a child. She slowly, carefully takes both his hands down from his head and then with the same smile she leans in and bites him on the neck. She doesn't stop until he is nearly unconscious.

He is quiet he doesn't scream, only surrender accept it as a part of his punishment. I wonder if there were times when he fought. Whether this just happened too many times?

She wipes the blood from her mouth and looks me up, but her look is not predatory just amused. Like only me being here is so funny.

"So Will, wanna go shopping with me?"I stare at her, my mouth wide open.

"What here? No."She nearly killed Spike and she wants to go shopping? Was my vampire self crazy too? I remember I thought so, but that was cause she was a lesbian and I wasn't yet.

"Oh come on, be some fun."

"Why am I here?"I try to change the subject.

"You know being a vampire taught me one thing. Care less about other people and more about yourself." What does that mean? Is it a compliment or a threat? You are a weird vamp Buffy, you are constantly confusing me.

"Buffy?" I say carefully.

"You are way more fun, when you are evil. Change for me?"

I shake my head.

"Pretty please?" No, I don't want to change. No, no.

"No" I scream and the same scream must have woken me up cause I am on my bed sitting.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: I am sorry for the long delay, should be faster now...Huge thanks to everyone reviewing this fiction :D

"Will?" Ken who obviously decided to join me last night asks me form the other side of the bed.

I need to make sure this is not a dream. At first I look at my finger and it's okay but…

"Hit me."

"What?"

"Hit me."I repeat my demand but she only looks at me crazily. I run downstairs to the kitchen. Ken follows me.

I grab a knife, and everyone gasps. Faith comes to me.

"Whoa, Red stop it."

"Hit me." I repeat.

"Why?"

"I need to know this is real. " I say and twist the knife so I can cut myself with it.

Ouch.

Faith slapped me.

Buffy reaches us and she looks like she has been running.

"What? Faith are you crazy?"She asks Faith and punches her.

"What the hell? She asked for it B and she panicked. She would cut herself." She touches her cheek where Buffy hit her and her face shows a lot more pain than it should. Buffy still doesn't trust her especially not around us and for some reason it touches Faith deeply. Sometimes I wonder if that's the only reason why Buffy still doesn't trust her. Because she doesn't understand or maybe because she enjoys hurting Faith. Or maybe Faith is a new Spike for Buffy. Umm no Buffy wouldn't be using and sleeping with a girl. On the other hand I never thought she would sleep with Spike either. But most people didn't expect me to be addicted to magic either. Why is it that people act unexpectedly? We should be like computers, predictable, easier to deal with. We should be walking computers…

"Willow, you have to give me the knife okay?"Buffy asks me.

I flinch when she moves to me. The memory of her teeth flashing through me.

I let the knife drop so they know I don't want to anymore.

She takes one step closer and I take one step back. I move to the side so Faith stands between us. I know Buffy is not a vampire, but I can't help myself when I look at her I shiver.

She stops trying to reach me and looks helplessly at Ken and Faith. Like if they could tell her what's wrong with me.

"Where is Spike?" I ask them.

"Spike? Spike is dead Will, He has been since Sunnydale."Ken says.

If my dream was real and this is real, then Spike and Anya are in hell, but what about Buffy and Xander? Or maybe only victims are real and the others aren't'? Anya said that hurting is most effective when it came from the person you love. Maybe that's what it is they have hallucinations about people who love them hurting them.

"Red?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you hiding from B?"

"I am not." I say and go to Buffy. She takes my hand and I can't help but feel weak. If I am so weird about her how did I manage it with Xander yesterday? Oh yeah. That was 'cause I have been avoiding him all the day. I should do it again with her. No, they would notice.

"See I am fine."

"Willow I am sorry."

"For what?" I look at her numbly.

"For whatever I did to you. " She looks so sad.

"You haven't done anything. "

"But…" Now she just doesn't understand.

"I am sorry Buffy I just had…"an excursion to hell, where you were a vampire and you wanted to turn me evil.

"I just had a bad dream."

No one pushes me anymore and we all eat a breakfast that Andrew prepared. It's pancakes. They are pretty good, but again they remind me of Tara. At least she wasn't in my dreams, if they are real than she is not in hell. Not that I ever thought she would because she is an angel, but still it's a relief to know. I miss her.

The truth is not only no one pushes me but also no one talks. The tension is all over the place. Buffy stares at her plate and plays with the food, Instead of just eating it like always. Ken alternately reaches out her hand to me and pulls back. Faith looks like she doesn't know what to do. Xander is still upstairs so he missed all the drama and everyone else rather sits to another table. It's like they are afraid to ask, and I won't answer, not yet. I still don't know what's happening. It's too soon.

I stand up. "I have to go, I need some rest."


End file.
